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Faces from the frontlines of the fight against AIDS. www.theaidsactivistproject.org

the AIDS activist project
I want to thank everyone who has supported this pr I want to thank everyone who has supported this project; bought a copy of the book, liked, or shared the posts we've put up this past year.
I am so grateful to be able to share this with so many people. This support is deeply appreciated. Thank You!

Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish everyone; family and friends,  a safe and healthy New Year in 2021.  2020 has been a tough one, but we'll get through this together, better times are coming.
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Some of the books that were ordered through amazon or from us directly have not been delivered; even after several weeks. USPS and other delivery services are somewhat overwhelmed because of COVID, weather, and cutbacks to the postal service. I do appreciate your patience; I will follow up with these deliveries.
As luck would have it, there is still one more book available through amazon. We are closing our seller account because the fees and commissions have proven to be a little expensive for us to maintain. We have marked the book on amazon down to $20.00 so we can sell out and close the account. So if you were thinking of getting a copy and want to save a few bucks, now is the time! The direct link to the book on amazon is ----> https://amzn.to/2M0yvFc
We will continue to sell through our own website here as well--> https://bit.ly/theAIDSactivistproject

Have a happy, healthy, and safe New Year!
I want to thank everyone who purchased a copy of t I want to thank everyone who purchased a copy of the AIDS activist project from the amazon site last week; all of the copies we had on amazon were sold. They went as far away as the UK, Spain and Italy! We're so happy to share these images and stories with people from around the world. 

The book is still avaialble directly from us, (bit.ly/theAIDSactivistproject) & link is also in the profile.

Thanks for supporting the project!!

-Bill
No truer words... YELL was right in 1990 and they No truer words...

YELL was right in 1990 and they are right now.

This sticker is from Youth Education Lifeline, an affinity group formed within ACT UP. YELL was formed in 1989 to reach out to youth, to get information about AIDS to young folks.
We have 12 copies of "the AIDS activist project" l We have 12 copies of "the AIDS activist project" left in our Amazon store; Amazon has changed some policies and costs; it's a drain in the project to keep this account open. So, we marked the book down to $20.00 on Amazon so that we can sell those and close the account down. 
For a single item store, it makes no sense to have the Amazon account anymore; we want to close up the Amazon account freeing up resources to put towards keeping the website of the project up and running. Looking ahead, we're looking at ways to digitize or possibly publish a companion book of all the work we weren't able to include in the first book.

So if you haven't purchased a copy yet, or want to get the activist, photographer, or that someone special in your life a great gift, now is your chance!! 

Get it here now!!! here ---> https://amzn.to/2M0yvFc 

Thank you for your support of the project!!
Harry Weider ACT UP New York, photographed in NYC Harry Weider ACT UP New York, photographed in NYC 1990
We have just a few copies of the AIDS activist pro We have just a few copies of the AIDS activist project left in stock on Amazon. We will be closing this Amazon account out as soon as these copies are gone. We have priced the few remaining copies at $20.00. Here is the link to the amazon listing-->https://amzn.to/2M0yvFc

It would be most appreciated you are thinking about getting a copy, now would be great time. We need to consolidate and keep expenses down so we can maintain the project website going forward. 

it’s an amazing, thoughtful present. You could do all your Christmas shopping now!!!

Copies will continue to be available on the project website; www.theaidsactivistproject.org or www.billbytsura.com for the regular price.
World AIDS Day 2020 Today, on this 32nd World AID World AIDS Day 2020

Today, on this 32nd World AIDS Day, I want to remember a group of individuals, their strength, and their determination. They fought a disease that was decimating their entire community. They had to fight prejudice, ignorance, and political apathy. They were not deterred. They rose up and they fought. They spoke up, spoke out, and changed the course of this disease.

The disease I am talking about is AIDS. The individuals I am talking about are AIDS activists. 

What might have happened if Larry Kramer had not made his speech at the Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center in March of 1987? What if the thousands of people who were affected by AIDS around the world did not rise up; speak up?

What if these individuals did not ACT UP?

The courage and voices of AIDS activists changed the course of AIDS. They forced Governments to acknowledge and deal with AIDS. Through public demonstrations and direct action, they brought about change; they focused attention on fighting the disease; not the people who were affected. 

My experience as an AIDS activist introduced me to a community of determined, dedicated and loving people. I can never forget them or the fight that we fought together. We are brothers and sisters, comrades in arms forever.

So, today, on this, the 32nd World AIDS Day, I want to send thanks to AIDS activists everywhere. I send my thoughts and prayers to everyone we lost, we will never forget you.
After Randy's death, I made a panel for the AIDS Q After Randy's death, I made a panel for the AIDS Quilt. I used a photo I took of Randy that I had used as the invite for his memorial service. On the quilt panel, I wrote the words to the song “Somewhere”. Barbara Streisand had done a version of the song that Randy loved. These are the lyrics: 

Someday
Somewhere
We'll find a new way of living
We'll find a way of forgiving
Somewhere
There's a place for us
Somewhere a place for us
Peace and quiet and open air
Wait for us somewhere
There's a time for us
Someday there'll be a time for us
Time together with time to spare
Time to learn
Time to care
Someday
Somewhere
We'll find a new way of living
We'll find there's a way of forgiving
Somewhere
Somewhere
Somewhere
There's a place for us
A time and a place for us
Hold my hand and we're half way there
Hold my hand and I'll take you there
Somehow
Someday
Somewhere

I put the song on a cassette so we could play it during the service. I recorded it on an old cassette with music Randy and I made for a party we had. I asked the minister to stop the tape as soon as the song was done, so the party music wouldn't play. (our parties were kind of crazy) After the song finished, the minister just sat there. In a panic, I ran up to the altar to stop the tape just in time.

I couldn’t get the courage to stand up and say anything during the service. I sat facing forward for the entire service. When the service was over, I stood up and turned to walk out. I broke down when I saw how many people came. 

The church was full.
Tim Bailey ACT UP New York, Photographed in NYC, 1 Tim Bailey ACT UP New York, Photographed in NYC, 1992

Tim Bailey was an active member of the ACT UP New York affinity group, “The Proud Marys.” 

Before his death, he told his friends that he wanted his body to be thrown over the gates of the White House, writing: 

“I want my political funeral to be fierce, defiant, and aesthetic. It’s for you – I won’t be there. ”

After Tim died in June 1993 of complications from AIDS, members of 
ACT UP went to Washington to carry out his wishes.
It was obvious that the police knew they were coming because when his fellow activists tried to take his casket out of the van, the police were there pushing back.

During the confrontation, the casket was pushed back and forth, precariously floating above the crowd of protestors and police, causing just the type of scene that Tim had hoped for.

Tim Bailey died June 28, 1993 of AIDS complications.

*From the AIDS activist project Archives at Fales Library and Collections.
the AIDS activist project is available through amazon here ——> https://amzn.to/2M0yvFc
Or directly from us here, free shipping ——>https://www.billbytsura.com/produ…/the-aids-activist-project
The making of an AIDS activist in 5 parts Part 5 The making of an AIDS activist in 5 parts 

Part 5 - Aftermath

Randy and me, New Years, 1984

After Randy’s death, I told myself, “One day it will be a year from now”, then “Someday it will be 2, 3, 10 years from now”. Now it’s 32 years since Randy’s death. 

Time heals.

I had a dream soon after Randy’s death. In the dream Randy said “I have 5 things to tell you. Number one, I am very far away from you and it’s hard for me to get back to talk to you anymore. Number two, your aura is red which is very, very good, and mine is purple now.”

I never followed the “aura” thing, but knew a friend who did. I asked what the colors meant. She inquired as to why I was asking; I told the dream to her.

She explained, “What he is telling you is that he is moving further away in the spiritual plane; represented by purple. He won’t be able to come back anymore.
Your aura being red means that you have work to do here, and you need to keep on doing what you are doing.”

I never knew what the other three things he wanted to tell me might have been.

Maybe dreams mean something. Maybe they don’t. I have a feeling, a hope, that there is something after we die. Is it Reincarnation, or an alternate universe?
 
Am I avoiding the truth of death? Trying to mask the sorrow of losing some one?

“These things happen for a reason.” I still recall those words from the nurse when Randy died. 

AIDS Activism opened my eyes to many things. It introduced me to an amazing bunch of people from around the world who cared about something so strongly. They inspired me and still do.

I am grateful for the things I learned, the people I met, and the honor to join in the fight against AIDS. 

Out of all this,  the AIDS activist project came to be. Maybe this is the work that Randy said I still had to do I feel I’ve accomplished something meaningful in my life.  It some how justifies my existence here. It made some sense out of Randy’s death.

Maybe things do happen for a reason.
The making of an Activist in 5 parts Part 4 (Hal The making of an Activist in 5 parts

Part 4
(Hal Haner, the first person I photographed for the project)

It was difficult after Randy’s death. In 1989, I went to see a counselor at The LGBTQ Community Center - @lgbtcenternyc I was told; you have to stop drinking; you have to stop doing drugs. You have to go to ACT UP meetings; make new friends. Meet people going through what you are going through.

I had no clue what ACT UP was. I did as I was told; went to a Monday night meeting at the Center. I joined the Media committee and eventually, I found a place in ACT UP.

Around that time, I was accepted into the Community Health Project. When I enrolled, I was told they test t-cell counts every 3 months. If that was good, I was ok. They would test for HIV if asked. If they saw problems with t-cell numbers, they might suggest finding out your status, it was left to the patient.

In the midst of this, work began on the AIDS activist project.

The first person photographed was Hal; we became friends. I saw him at ACT UP demonstrations. During the demo; he marched a bit, then find a place to rest for a few minutes. AIDS was taking its toll; he got back up, he fought on.

Hal came to my studio to look at his contact sheets. He picked out the photo used in the book. He liked the contrast between Reagan's face and his. One day he came by after his appointment at Beth Israel Hospital. He was going there for radiation to treat Kaposi Sarcoma, a cancer common to People With AIDS. They began to ration the treatments;  3 lesions at a time. 
It was then I decided to get tested for HIV. I didn’t want to take up a spot if someone else needed the care. I asked to get tested. They went over everything involved and the possible consequences.

I went in for my results, the doctor came in and said; congratulations, the test came back negative. I was happy; relieved. When I got out to the street, I found the first payphone and called my sister to tell her.

After hanging up, I thought, this really doesn’t change a thing. My friends are still sick, dying. Hal can’t get the treatment he needs. 

This had to change.

I became an AIDS Activist.
The making of an Activist in 5 parts Part 3 This The making of an Activist in 5 parts

Part 3
This is the last photo of Randy. 
The next day, I went to see Randy at the hospital, they couldn’t find him. It took a few hours before he was located. He was on a bed in a hallway overnight until a room opened up for him.

I can’t remember the floor the AIDS ward was on. Time has blurred memories. The room they had for Randy had 2 beds. This was so family members could stay over night and keep the patients company. They encouraged it. It was comforting to the patients. They did all they could to help patients through the ordeal of AIDS. 

The memories I have of folks at St. Lukes are good. The nurses were helpful, kind, devoted. Considering the time, they were fearless. They were on the front lines fighting to save lives and comfort people with AIDS, though little was known about it.

Randy was in the hospital for about 2 weeks. I would spend the night, then go home to walk the dogs, shower and return to the hospital. We had many loving friends who helped with whatever we needed. 

On the day he died, I returned to the hospital. I had been gone just a few hours. I came back  to find him finally succumbing to AIDS. I knew because of how he was breathing. They call this type of breathing Cheyne-Stokes it begins when one is in the final stages of death.

I started crying, singing a silly song Randy would sing to me sometimes, “A Bushel and a Peck” it went like this:

“I love you a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck
A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap
A barrel and a heap and I'm talkin' in my sleep”

I told him it was ok to go, everything will be ok. My sister Mary was coming from Pennsylvania to to see him and say goodbye, and friends from around the city were on their way to the hospital as well. I sat on the side of the bed, crying. A nurse came in, sat next to me and said “These things happen for a reason”. She put her arm around me and hugged me. I could not for the life of me imagine there was a good reason for Randy to have to die.

I was with Randy when he passed. I am forever grateful I was able to be with him when he died, he was not alone, he was loved. 

I said goodbye.
The making of an Activist in 5 parts Part 2 phot The making of an Activist in 5 parts 

Part 2
photo: Randy in hospital
I began calling the AIDS hotline and any other place to get more info. I was told that just because he was HIV+, it didn’t necessarily mean he had AIDS. But as the days went by I could now see how sick he was, it was getting worse.

On the day we were supposed to leave for Seattle to visit his family, he was very sick. There was no way we could travel. I called his doctor, he told me to come in right away.

It was a rainy day, the doctors office was on 6th Avenue and had large windows that looked out  onto 6th Ave. When we arrived, the doctor told Randy to wait in the reception area and asked me to follow him to his office. He shut the door and asked me how much I knew, I told him I knew Randy was HIV+. He said, “No, Randy has AIDS, If he doesn’t get into a hospital today, he could get pneumonia and be dead in 3 days.” 

I hit the floor. I lost it. I didn’t expect this. I was terrified.

The doctor said, “Pull yourself together, Randy doesn’t need to see you like this”. I got myself together and in that instant, became Randy’s caretaker. The doctor said to go home, he would call us in a few hours.

We got home, Randy had to call his family to tell them we weren’t coming. 
I will never forget, I can still hear him on the phone saying, “Dad, I have AIDS”.

The doctor called back later that afternoon and said go to the emergency room at St. Lukes-Roosevelt Hospital, on Amsterdam Avenue and 114th Street. He said since it was raining, it wouldn’t be crowded. 

We lived on East 14th Street, so we took a cab up to St. Lukes. It’s on the upper west side of Manhattan 114th Street and Morningside Drive. I asked the cab driver to take the long way through Central Park, not knowing it would be the last time we would see Central Park together. It all seemed like a 1950’s movie. A rainy day, NYC in black and white.

We arrived and sat in the waiting area, Randy gave them his info and we sat back down to wait. When they called his name, we got up and I waited with him for someone to come and get him. When the nurse came to meet us, I asked if I should wait. 

She said. “No, he won’t be coming out again”.
The making of an Activist in 5 parts Part 1 When The making of an Activist in 5 parts

Part 1

When I look at this photograph of Randy now, I can’t believe I was in such denial that something was very, very wrong.

In summer of 1988, AIDS was decimating the Gay Community; there was a lot of ignorance, fear and hatred of AIDS & the Gay Community. 

In 1988 Randy began to lose weight, he continued work as a restaurant manager. He began to talk about moving back to home to his hometown of Seattle, where he grew up. He said he wanted to be closer to his family. We decided we would go to visit and see what would become of it. 

Weeks before we were to leave, he came home early and told me he had been fired. I didn’t know he would go to work at 6 a.m., between breakfast and lunch service he would lay down to rest in the basement stock room. I don’t know how long this went on, but the staff told me he had been doing this for some time.

He continued to lose weight, I became concerned. He had been seeing a doctor, I assumed everything was ok. He complained of back problems, I thought he was a depressed. He wanted to leave New York to go home to be closer to his family. Looking back, I didn’t want to know the truth, and avoided it at any cost.

Friends would ask me if Randy had AIDS, I’d get angry and think they assumed because we were gay, we would get AIDS. I would say no, he was depressed and wanted to move to Seattle, he had enough of New York, besides he was was seeing a doctor, so no, he didn’t have AIDS. 

One afternoon, he had a doctors appointment, I wanted to go with him, but he insisted going alone. Afterwards, we met me at a restaurant, Hisae’s, a Sushi restaurant by Copper Union. We had become very close with the sushi chef and the manager, we always had a good time there. 

When he arrived, I was sitting at the sushi bar, talking with the chef. He sat down next to me and had a frighted look on his face. I knew now something was very, very wrong. I asked him what the doctor said.

Randy siad, “I’m HIV+”

Our world began to crumble. I lost it, I started to cry, everything I tried to avoid and deny hit me like a ton of bricks. 

We got the check and went home. 

 (TBC)
Terry Stogdell and daughter Ellie Cachet. ACT UP G Terry Stogdell and daughter Ellie Cachet. ACT UP Golden Gate 
Photographed in San Francisco 1997

Terry contracted HIV in the early 1980’s as part of a group of Hemophiliacs who were infected by pharmaceutical products were later recalled.
Terry died on April 14, 2002 due to complications from AIDS. His daughter Ellie, lives in California.

From an interview with The Body, September 1, 1997 - 

“No, I don't think that we look at ourselves as innocent victims. To me, to say "I got it the good way and my other buddy at ACT UP, he got it the bad way." is ridiculous. No, I can't buy into that. I'm not a victim. True, I got HIV through negligence on a lot of people's fault, but if I was a victim I would be under this little rock somewhere saying, "Help me, feel sorry for me." I'm empowered. I'm not a victim. I'm an activist.”

*From the AIDS activist project Archives at Fales Library and Collections.
the AIDS activist project is available through amazon here ——> https://amzn.to/2M0yvFc
Or directly from us here, free shipping ——>https://www.billbytsura.com/produ…/the-aids-activist-project
ACT UP, Target Bush Demonstration die-in, Kennebu ACT UP, Target Bush Demonstration die-in,  Kennebunkport, Maine

Protesters held a “die-in” representing the people who died of AIDS during the Target Bush campaign in 1991. 

From the AIDS activist project Archives at Fales Library and Collections.

the AIDS activist project is available through amazon here ——> https://amzn.to/2M0yvFc
Or directly from us here, free shipping ——>https://www.billbytsura.com/products/the-aids-activist-project
ACT UP, Sunday in the Country with George, Albany ACT UP, Sunday in the Country with George, Albany New York, 1996.

Protesting proposed budget cuts to essential AIDS services in New York, ACT UP along with a coalition of other AIDS groups descended on Albany to stage the protest known as”Sunday in the Country with George.”

From the AIDS activist project Archives at Fales Library and Collections.
the AIDS activist project is available through amazon here ——> https://amzn.to/2M0yvFc
Or directly from us here, free shipping ——>https://www.billbytsura.com/products/the-aids-activist-project
ACT UP, Target Bush Demonstration in Kennebunkport ACT UP, Target Bush Demonstration in Kennebunkport, 1991

In 1991, more than 1500 protesters from ACT UP converged in Kennebunkport, taking their demands for action on AIDS to George Bush's summer home in Kennebunkport Maine.

From the AIDS activist project Archives at Fales Library and Collections.

the AIDS activist project is available through amazon here ——> https://amzn.to/2M0yvFc
Or directly from us here, free shipping ——>https://www.billbytsura.com/products/the-aids-activist-project
Nadine Lurie and Sara Schleimer, ACT UP Golden Gat Nadine Lurie and Sara Schleimer, ACT UP Golden Gate, Photographed in San Fransisco , 1997 

"The 90s were a medley of burying friend after friend after friend. We both worked for UCSF at the at the San Francisco General hospital. Sara got involved in bench science and then clinical trials. Nadine did admin to support Ward 86. ACT UP/GG was our family."
Ron Goldberg, ACT UP New York, Photographed in NYC Ron Goldberg, ACT UP New York, Photographed in NYC, 1991

AIDS Activist. Protest Organizer. Chant Queen. — Boy with the Bullhorn. 

My most vivid memory of Ron is from an ACT UP meeting in New York. He was in front of the meeting room talking about a "fax zap". (I know we're dating ourselves by even mentioning "faxing", it's an ancient technology.)

Anyway, he was up in front of the room explaining how one executed a fax zap. He instructed us to get several sheets of paper with the message or demands of the “fax zap" printed on them, then tape them together, to form a long strip; start feeding them into the fax machine, then tape the ends of the strip together so it formed a loop. This way the fax machine continually delivers ACT UP’s message to the recipient, until their paper runs out -  True genius! 

Check out Ron’s ‘Boy with the Bullhorn” A Memoir of ACT UP and AIDS 
Activism here ——> https://www.boywiththebullhorn.com/

the AIDS activist project is available through amazon here ——> https://amzn.to/2M0yvFc
Or directly from us here, free shipping ——> https://bit.ly/TAAPstore
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